Going the Distance
In some of our dating careers, we have tried the Long Distance Relationship (LDR). As a high school teacher, I am learning that this is more commonplace than it was even in my day. Movies always showed young love torn away by parents jobs or summer camp.
Now, many young people develop meaningful relationships with people they have never met face to face through a shared interest and the internet. Those friendships can become more in some cases, and thus the LDR begins. Now they have ways to be in constant contact with one another and other than physically being able to reach out to that other individual these can be a substantial relationship.
I was never one that ever thought I could make an LDR work in any way. As a high school student myself, I hated talking on the phone. I still do! It is why I LOVE texting and other typing ways of talking. I also never got the concept of why a girl would want to just have me on the phone when I had nothing to say. I would lie next to my dog if I needed to hear breathing in my ear.
Inevitably I was forced into an LDR when my first college girlfriend went out of state. We made it work a while. We both complained about the distance, but in hindsight, we really weren't that far away. However, a lot of the issue was funding for gas money, food, and such. Eventually, it got stale. Later on, in life, we would both admit that having to force time into our busy class schedules just to get a few words in became more of a chore than a joy.
After that, I even ended a subsequent relationship when distance became a part of it because I was certain it would fail anyway. I was certain the LDR was not for me.
My first fight the dragon once again forced me into the old LDR. Tara and I had been married a whole whopping FIVE MONTHS before I started treatment. On top of that, we bought a house only a few days before my initial diagnosis. Without working myself, that left Tara to work just to make ends meet, with the lingering deadline that her contract position would be ending when the year did. She ended up losing the job and immediately took two full-time retail positions to keep us afloat. As I stated before I had my retired father to make treatment trips for me. However, I hurt every moment we couldn't have, even if I was home and she was just at work.
Tara and I spent the next six months doing everything we could to keep a healthy relationship going. After most treatments, I barely had the strength to sit up and stay conscious. I found the will just so I could hear my sweet wife's voice. When I came home I was still weak and tired, she would spend hours in bed with me, reading to me, trying to make me smile with funny shows, deviously allowing the dog to sleep in the bed (which I did not allow before this), and just being there. Tara was my rock, and even though I hate talking on the phone, she was the right person on the other end to make me not give up. This might be shocking to say, but had it not been for her, I wouldn't have fought so hard to beat my cancer. We were both scared that being separated so soon, we might fall apart, especially with the stresses we faced. We made it work, I was an LDR believer.
We felt robbed of our first year together, but it made what we have near unbreakable. I had mostly recovered by our first anniversary, and we decided then, eating our year old cake topper trying to enjoy it for the other's sake, we beat some crazy odds. One year felt like a lifetime. Now we get to make a life time feel like an eternity.
Not For Me
I was never one that ever thought I could make an LDR work in any way. As a high school student myself, I hated talking on the phone. I still do! It is why I LOVE texting and other typing ways of talking. I also never got the concept of why a girl would want to just have me on the phone when I had nothing to say. I would lie next to my dog if I needed to hear breathing in my ear.
Inevitably I was forced into an LDR when my first college girlfriend went out of state. We made it work a while. We both complained about the distance, but in hindsight, we really weren't that far away. However, a lot of the issue was funding for gas money, food, and such. Eventually, it got stale. Later on, in life, we would both admit that having to force time into our busy class schedules just to get a few words in became more of a chore than a joy.
After that, I even ended a subsequent relationship when distance became a part of it because I was certain it would fail anyway. I was certain the LDR was not for me.
Stronger Commitment
My first fight the dragon once again forced me into the old LDR. Tara and I had been married a whole whopping FIVE MONTHS before I started treatment. On top of that, we bought a house only a few days before my initial diagnosis. Without working myself, that left Tara to work just to make ends meet, with the lingering deadline that her contract position would be ending when the year did. She ended up losing the job and immediately took two full-time retail positions to keep us afloat. As I stated before I had my retired father to make treatment trips for me. However, I hurt every moment we couldn't have, even if I was home and she was just at work.
Tara and I spent the next six months doing everything we could to keep a healthy relationship going. After most treatments, I barely had the strength to sit up and stay conscious. I found the will just so I could hear my sweet wife's voice. When I came home I was still weak and tired, she would spend hours in bed with me, reading to me, trying to make me smile with funny shows, deviously allowing the dog to sleep in the bed (which I did not allow before this), and just being there. Tara was my rock, and even though I hate talking on the phone, she was the right person on the other end to make me not give up. This might be shocking to say, but had it not been for her, I wouldn't have fought so hard to beat my cancer. We were both scared that being separated so soon, we might fall apart, especially with the stresses we faced. We made it work, I was an LDR believer.
We felt robbed of our first year together, but it made what we have near unbreakable. I had mostly recovered by our first anniversary, and we decided then, eating our year old cake topper trying to enjoy it for the other's sake, we beat some crazy odds. One year felt like a lifetime. Now we get to make a life time feel like an eternity.
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