Hey Beautiful
The first time I was called "beautiful" took me by surprise. It is a simple word but we put a lot of stock in beautiful. Even those lacking vanity still seem to reserve the word for describing nature and the majesty of God. It was silly for it to have an impact on me at the time. It had come from a young girl with a childish crush out of the blue. However, it was meant sincerely and I knew that it was the first time that word had been used in my direction, so of course it struck me.
Of course, others in my life had called me handsome, good looking, etc., but the actual word beautiful not so much. Reflecting on it, the reason it probably stuck with me, is because I have always had self-image issues.
Growing up with big glasses, one of the only Hispanic kids, and weird/nerdy; kids always teased me about one thing or another in school about my looks. We hold on to a lot of crap from childhood well into adulthood. Take that childhood funk and add on a missing limb and scars everywhere, and "distorted body image" doesn't begin to cover it.
Body Image
We develop these self-inflicted body image standards from various places; family, other people, and of course the bombardment of media (everyone's favorite scapegoat). It really is amazing what your brain will pick up on even if it is just inference.
Caution: I have very strong opinions on body image. Part of my job at a K-12 school is taking pictures with the yearbook group. Kids develop these self-images earlier and earlier. I will never forget the heartache of a 5th-grade girl asking if I can use photoshop to make her prettier. It broke me, I leaned in and showed her the review screen on the camera and said, "Look at that, that's such a good picture. I can't improve on a picture that's already pretty." She gave me a half-hearted smile and seemed content. Dress codes is another sore spot for me because it is unbelievably skewed against girls. Modern dress is so messed up in the way clothes are marketed to one body type and girls that don't fit that often find themselves in the predicament of feeling good about themselves or possibly getting in trouble. Ok, I am off on a rant. It's over. Point is, I see how children distort their own body image because of other children and even adults that mean well.
I have taken note recently of a trend in media archetypes when it comes to amputees. Of course, I am about to shatter the glass for some, meaning this is something you dismiss of write off because you just don't notice it until someone points it out. Before I move on, I am well aware that amputees are not the only or first group to experience this type of typecasting when it comes to TV and film. This is how we got, the Asian Nerd, the Token Black Guy, the Gay Best Friend, and whatever Brenden Fraser was trying to be at the time.
Caution: I have very strong opinions on body image. Part of my job at a K-12 school is taking pictures with the yearbook group. Kids develop these self-images earlier and earlier. I will never forget the heartache of a 5th-grade girl asking if I can use photoshop to make her prettier. It broke me, I leaned in and showed her the review screen on the camera and said, "Look at that, that's such a good picture. I can't improve on a picture that's already pretty." She gave me a half-hearted smile and seemed content. Dress codes is another sore spot for me because it is unbelievably skewed against girls. Modern dress is so messed up in the way clothes are marketed to one body type and girls that don't fit that often find themselves in the predicament of feeling good about themselves or possibly getting in trouble. Ok, I am off on a rant. It's over. Point is, I see how children distort their own body image because of other children and even adults that mean well.
I have taken note recently of a trend in media archetypes when it comes to amputees. Of course, I am about to shatter the glass for some, meaning this is something you dismiss of write off because you just don't notice it until someone points it out. Before I move on, I am well aware that amputees are not the only or first group to experience this type of typecasting when it comes to TV and film. This is how we got, the Asian Nerd, the Token Black Guy, the Gay Best Friend, and whatever Brenden Fraser was trying to be at the time.
Bad, Dirty, or Hidden
Plain and simple. According to mainstream media, amputation are the result of bad choices, bad guys make. Take most action film villains with amputations. In this version of conditions, no one asked for, directors will allow you to find the villain attractive but that amputation means they are bad in some way.
These villains from Kingsman and Logan were considered cool and good looking but we have yet to have that in a good character, which brings me to the next.
Films still have a thing about dirty people, maybe it is something biblical about lepparse and such being unclean but this is a big one too with amputees. Good characters are often shown as amputees that are dirty. Furiousa from Mad Max Fury Road was dirty and grimy even though she was surrounded by clean beautiful women.
One of the most famous film amputees was not shown as a clean while human until her got new legs and looked "normal" on screen. Good ole Lt. Dan, granted he was supposed to be a representation of disabled and homeless American Veterans but even when he wasn't doing drugs or hookers he was still messy.
Now while those mentioned before at least give amputees representation other directors will just straight up hide it. I am looking at you Hunger Games.
In the books, Peeta's missing limb was a big plot device. It is why they have trouble outrunning the flesh eating rain, it is one of the ways Katniss knows he is the real Peeta to name a few major things. In the film, doesn't exist. I often feel the directors felt he couldn't have been a mainstream love interest with such a thing. Not to pick on Hunger Games but the Fault In Our Start film glazed over Agustus amputation. This one got to me most because Gus's missing limb is related to his cancer like mine.
This is not a notion that is restricted to just these types of movies. Children's films do it too, take Disney's forgotten gem, Treasure Planet.
In the end, Mr. Silver does become a redeemed character but his prosthetics are literally his bad guy identifier. "Beware the Cyborg"
Luckily someone noticed and made a cool story about a pair of amputees.
Show a Little
Ok so on to the point of this blog. I have days where I say to myself "I could never be good looking, I'm not even a whole person" and other days "come on cool robot leg, let's go kick the world in the pants and look good doing it" Cancer took that from me, which has made me hyper aware of how we treat others. Even just staring is No Bueno for a lot of people. It actually makes me mad when people stare as adults, where kids don't mind asking. Body image is something adults need to take better care of when it comes to setting examples for children. I have seen the hurt it causes.
If you are still with me, please don't tell me I am good looking for beautiful in comments. Instead, I want you to take this as a notice to tell people you see every day that you like something about them. Tell someone you may have never said it to, "you're beautiful" It can mean the world to them, and that can mean changing the world.
